10 Food Blogging Trends That Need to End

bacon mallow pop 1

1.  Rehashing the rehashed recipes ad infinitum…

Here are some food trends that have been done to fucking DEATH: bacon, candied bacon, bacon jam, doughnuts (the new cupcake), kale chips, buffalo anything, pulled pork, quinoa, bacon in desserts, red velvet anything, chocolate chip cookies, cookie dough anything, loaded baked potato soup, green smoothies, anything with chia seeds, s’mores anything, homemade marshmallows, and sweet potato fries just to name a few.  You’re just following the fumes of trends that have been driven into the ground.

2.  Photos of food spilling and dripping over the sides of dishes.

It’s not arty – it’s gross.  It makes my fingers feel sticky and rather than wanting to grab a spoon or fork and eat your food I want to grab a sponge or a dish towel and clean up after you.

3.  Stuffing cookies with candy or other cookies.

Stuffing food inside other food.  This over-the-top stuffing of food inside other food has become one big gluttonous denial that heart attacks and diabetes could happen to YOU.

4. Supporting the packaged crap industry

There is apparently a continuous contest  to see how many ways one can cram processed crap into their home baked goods.  Disposing of whole bags of fun-size candy bars in a cake recipe is sick and needs to stop.  Please refer to #3.

5.  Hyperbolic food writing.

We get it – food can be emotional for some people.  Suggesting that a single dish of food is “life changing” is ridiculous.  Talking about food as though it can heal all the wounds of life is also ridiculous.  Be real.  Stop trying to flog emotions out of us with the promise of life-changing pasta.  We’re not simpletons.

6.  Striped paper straws

Time for a new prop for food photo shoots involving any kind of sweets or sweet beverages.  My eyes are so tired of seeing the same striped straws everywhere.  What annoys me about them aside from their ubiquity is the “old fashioned wholesomeness” bloggers seem to be implying as if jaunty little straws can neutralize the potential for heart disease and obesity represented on the endless parades of plates piled high with processed-crap-stuffed baked goods.

7. Fondant.

Fondant doesn’t taste good.  The first rule of food is that it should nourish your body.  The first rule of food worth talking about is that it also taste good.  If it neither nourishes nor tastes good it doesn’t matter how pretty it is, you may as well be sculpting cakes out of play-dough.

8. The evils of “mouth-feel”

Never describe to me how food will FEEL or ACT in my mouth (or in yours).  The second you start talking about food in people’s mouths I am imagining masticated food and that makes me lose my appetite which is the opposite of what your writing is trying to accomplish.  It’s not funny.  It truly grosses me out.  I don’t want a “party” or an “explosion” of any kind IN MY MOUTH.  So get out of my mouth, please, and keep me out of yours too.

9. Fluffy cake flavored drinks pretending to be martinis

Calling any beverage in a martini glass a martini.  It’s not the glass that makes it a martini – it’s the use of gin + vermouth  that makes it a martini.  The only other version of a martini that’s still a martini is vodka + vermouth.  If your drink contains anything else – it is most definitely NOT a martini so give it a new name.*

10.  The cast of characters ingredient shot.**

Unless you plan to not have an ingredient list with your recipe (which would be a dumb move) no one needs to see the ingredients all grouped together on your kitchen counter.  It adds insult to injury when every item in the photo is labeled – it suggests that your readers are so new to the world that they don’t know what butter looks like.  Trust me – we know it when we’re looking at eggs just like we understood what you meant when you listed “2 eggs” in the ingredient list.

*A splash of olive brine and a garnish of an olive or a lemon twist are the only other variations allowable for the drink to still bear the name “martini”.  If you’re using flavored vodkas – it’s not a martini.

**My friend Sarah’s words for it.  Brilliant.

14 thoughts on “10 Food Blogging Trends That Need to End

  1. Taj

    Fondant feels and tastes like play-do.

    Also, thank you for clarifying the term martini for me. I agree it is gin or vodka plus vermouth. I have a friend who orders his “gin martini” with no vermouth. I’ve tried to tell him that’s just a glass of gin but he won’t believe me.

    While I am a meat eater, I am also so very, very tired of all meat worship.

  2. angelina Post author

    Skye – I remembered that you agreed with me on that and now we have a third member to our group of non-fondant lovers!

    Taj – If I liked to drink gin straight I would not want to ruin my potential for a reputation as a BAD ASS by calling it something fancy like a martini. Apparently there is precedence for considering gin in a martini glass a “real” martini. A few famous drinkers have been known to do this, so I don’t think we’ll be able to prevail on your friend to change his stance.

    You know I don’t mind people eating meat either – but it’s the worshipful attitude that I am tired of – you really nailed it.

  3. Eileen Ross

    Interesting take on recent food fads. Nothing new in this country. We always are looking for the next trend. Maybe because we overdo our exposure, then get tired of it. Two other comments: I could never get tired of Chocolate Truffles; I know I’m older than you because when I was growing up as well as when I became a grown-up, Martinis were always made with gin.

  4. angelina Post author

    When I was growing up martinis were always made with gin as well. Not only that – when I was 21 a friend insisted that my first legal drink be a martini and there was no question of it being made with anything but gin. However, now, even sticklers like Michael Ruhlman allow that a martini may be considered “real” with vodka instead of gin (though he allows it only grudgingly). We may be closer in age than you think if age is an indication of what one considers a real martini!

    I do love gins and tonic though.

  5. angelina Post author

    Michael – !!

    Jess – I’m glad you agree. It’s almost as bad as the dirty dish shots which, since I keep seeing these in food blog posts, I might address in a follow up trends post.

  6. angelina Post author

    How did you guess? I was going to do a spoof bacon trend recipe but since I don’t eat meat I decided to use fake bacon. There’s no way I would eat such a thing but it was fun to photograph. I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog!

  7. EmilyM

    Yea, I guessed it! We call veggie bacon, fakon. Read the ingredient list and you’ll realize it’s fake in more ways than just as a bacon substitute. Oh my, what’s a vegetarian to do?! Bacon or Fakon … either way, yuck! But I do admit I miss it sometimes. :’ (

  8. angelina Post author

    Yeah – fake meat products are super processed and full of crap but I can understand why some vegetarians like to eat them. I never did eat meat growing up so I don’t miss bacon. I have to admit that it smells good when it’s being fried up though.

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